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The Lovelands Celebrate 11 Years With 11 Juicy Questions From You

We want to thank you for sending us all your great questions. It was really hard to choose and narrow it down. Below are the ones that we picked for today’s video, as a way to celebrate our 11th Anniversary with you!

1. Who is the better driver?
2. How do you keep the romance alive?
3. What advice would you give your newlywed self?
4. What was the biggest disappointment in your marriage?
5. What was the best advice you ever got?
6. Did the “D” word ever come up?
7. Does your marriage impact other areas in your life?
8. Who wears the pants in your relationship?
9. What is something annoying your partner does?
10. What has been the most important thing you’ve learned in your marriage?
11. What do you appreciate most about your spouse?

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Respect In A Relationship: What Does It Mean?

What is a relationship without respect?

Possibly one with hostility or not any warmth.

But what does it mean when we respect each other in a relationship?

Essentially, respect is how we treat each other. 

We unavoidably learn this by the people that are around as we grow up. We look for examples in others to get an idea of what we should do.

  • A toddler will look to their parent’s response when they fall to learn how to react to their fall
  • We look at reviews to know if a restaurant or product is liked by most people

Regardless of the tolerance our home had for disrespect, we now face it as an adult.

We simply don’t want to settle and we want a safe environment where we can share feelings, be validated and respected.

So let’s see what is respectful and what isn’t—with REAL couples.

 

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If you liked the video, share it with your friends and partner.

This is a great conversation to have. I have offered questions in the video so you can talk them over with your partner, and your both on the same page.

 

 

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Finding your passion and purpose in life

My purpose and passion, above anything else, is to raise a healthy and independent son.

I absolutely have other passions. My work, for example.

Yet, for many of us, it’s hard to narrow it down or simply overwhelming to think about. It can be quite a journey when finding our passion and purpose in life.

Well, today, we cover just that.

  • I share the only simple question needed to find your true passion in life.
  • What type of goal will bring meaning and purpose to your life.
  • Scan your current goals (with the time-tested checklist) and make sure there aren’t any bugs in them.

 

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As I say to clients that feel undeserving or unworthy of their own dreams and pursuits, thinking their partner won’t accept them or support them…time to live your own life without needing the approval others.

It’s vital that your partner knows your dreams. If they don’t, how can they offer support?

(There will be another video on how this applies to couples so they thrive together—not apart.)

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3 Simple Ways to Stop Recurring Bad Thoughts

Have you ever played the “what if” game?
Where your mind thinks of all the possible ways something can go bad?

What if I’m not taken seriously?
What if they think I’m stupid?
What if no one talks to me?
What if I say something silly and embarrassing?

It’s pretty pervasive in our society to bump up against self-doubt.

We also play other games that bring in bad thoughts:

  • The Social Comparison Game
  • The False Hope Game
  • The Generalization Game
  • The Hopeless Game

 

But how can we stop recurring bad thoughts?

I got 3 Super Simple Ways I share today!

Side question: can you guess how many thoughts we have per day (without googling)?

Learn the 3 super simple ways to stop recurring bad thoughts and how many thoughts we have per day here.
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Tweet it: Where there is life, there is hope. —Stephen Hawking

After you watch this video, ask yourself, are you that “right” person to talk to? If so, then you’re right the person to share this video and show you have the right information from reliable sources!

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How to Experience Joy Even in Hard Times

Hard times can be:
-car accident
-natural disaster
-job loss
-divorce
-death of a loved one
-losing a job
-severe illness

Today is an important day for me and my family.

Four years ago, on May 20th, my 10-year old nephew passed suddenly.

This was very difficult for all of us, as you can imagine.

Now that it has been four years, I’ve noticed how our family has shifted. We have really embraced our time together, we’ve become more grateful for little things, and we are much more positive. Even though we do miss him terribly.

A loyal reader/viewer of my weekly tips submitted the question of: how can I experience joy and contentment even in hard times?

This is close to my heart, and I think most of us can relate.

So let’s discuss how to experience joy even in hard times.

When something difficult is in our life, how can we feel better?
How can we cope?

In today’s video, I share 4 different ways that are proved most effective by research, and you can chose which one best fits you now.

 

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In light of the ritual I’ve made for myself for every year on May 20th, I ask you to remember your loved ones that have passed today in a positive way.

What joy did they bring you?

And don’t forget to say “I love you” to who needs to hear it. Make sure the ones you love, know you love them!

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When *beep* Hits The Fan: What You Ought to Know About Therapy

Have you ever found yourself seeking help when things are already bad?

I don’t know about you, but I know a couple people, including myself, that have gone through those moments when things wouldn’t be so bad if we had just consulted with a specialist.

Business can go under when they reach a lawyer after a problem arises, instead of consulting one to avoid “preventable problems.”

Would you visit a dentist when your teeth are already rotten? 

Imagine the necessary treatment for rotten teeth. I’m sure it ain’t pretty or easy.

It’s just painful and extra hard work.

We already have to put in effort in our relationships to just maintain them.

What couples don’t realize when they wait for preventable problems to become impossible problems, is that during time of healing and intervention, there is even more work to put in.

Albeit, if the couple successfully survives “treatment”, or even thrives, then they will be phenomenal afterwards.

In all honesty, there is something terribly wrong with therapy.

You’d be surprised to know the facts.

There are options. Good options.

In today’s video I share:

  • the facts that show why there is something wrong with therapy
  • top possible options for couples to prevent or repair

 

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Tweet it! Seeking help is not for the weak, it’s for the brave. @lucindaloveland

Leave us an anonymous comment with your opinion or question below.

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How to Cope with Betrayal

Betrayal is definitely something we all deal with, or have dealt with, in varying degrees.

Since I’m not one sided, I included advice for both sides of the coin in today’s video. 

How to cope with betrayal for the person feeling betrayed, and the person that acted in a form that loses trust (to some degree).

I share:

  • all the ways we can betray (among those an emotional affair, gossiping, exposing secrets, etc)
  • what each person feels, thinks and hopes will happen after the betrayal
  • the 3 specific ways to successfully cope with betrayal and survive infidelity (together or apart) and where you can learn more
  • a little tip for those that are betraying their partner and their partner doesn’t know yet, how to approach them in a way that is more likely to get a pardon
  • finally, a pep talk to those that have been betrayed, especially recently (if this is you, you NEED to hear this!)

 

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Leave me comment below on your personal experience with betrayal. Do you relate with any of the scenarios I shared? Would you forgive your partner if you found them unfaithful?

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5 Ways We Inadvertently Ruin Our Relationship

I recently asked my husband what stressed him on a regular basis when our marriage was in bad shape almost 10 years ago.

He said the regular arguments, not being able to get his point across, and not being able to find a solution.

Then I asked him, what did he avoid facing because it would trigger too much fear?

He said his own contribution.

It’s not easy to see how we’ve contributed to the problem.

It’s much easier when someone else, like a professional, or someone’s opinion we respect, points it out to us. We do not want to hear it from the person we’re hurting—obviously!

It helped our relationship to know EXACTLY:
-what can damage it
-what can nurture it

Just so you know, anger (not the outbursts) and arguments do not END a relationship.

This was a relief for me.

But there are few things to avoid to make arguing much more healthy, respectful and make you feel on the same team.

In this video I share the 5 methods of arguing you must avoid at all costs to really get somewhere (get your point across and find a solution).

 

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A CHALLENGE FOR YOU:
After you watch it, share it with your partner and talk about it. What do you think about it and do you agree?

Have a conversation about how you would like to improve the way you argue. Just focus on 1 specific thing.

 

More information:

 

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