Posted on

The Best Way to Vent Anger, Hands Down

Spring is looking really beautiful in England. The changing of the seasons is all new to me. Being from SoCal, I appreciate the breeze, the fog, the rain, the mist, the snowflakes, and now even more…sunny days.

It’s the changes of life that come and allow us to embrace what hasn’t changed.

For instance, when we come head to head in a disagreement, or didn’t get what we wished for. Sometimes, we will have “one of those day” when things don’t seem to go our way, and we feel challenged. We may even lose our patience.

These days happen to us all. We are human, and wonderfully different, complex, and valuable.

It’s reassuring to know that we are not alone and that we all share feelings (of happiness, loneliness, anger, sadness)—but for different reasons, that’s what makes us unique. Like the many flowers that bloom for different reasons (such as climate).

But since we all experience anger (at different levels and for different reasons, no doubt), there is one sure-way that will restore your sanity after being angered.

Today’s episode is to clear up any misunderstandings of catharsis, or what you might have thought that works.

[video_embed url=”https://youtu.be/49s5rwo0C-E” embed_style=”default”]

 

 

If this blew your mind (like it did mine) and know someone that would appreciate watching this, please share the knowledge.

I’d like to know what has worked for you in the past and I’d love to know your experience trying this in action!
IOWA STATE UNIVERSITY STUDY’S FULL ARTICLE (BY BRAD BUSHMAN): https://www.mtholyoke.edu/courses/jbickfor/bushman2002.pdf

Posted on

Are you in love? How long will that last?

Did you know there are different types of love? 

Not only different types, but also different stages that a romantic relationship naturally goes through.

Why is this important to know?

Have you heard people say:
  • The magic has died.
  • She/he has changed.
  • It’s not the same anymore.
Today’s video asks the big question: Does love last?

I found this information to be extremely helpful over 10 years ago when this natural shift began in my relationship. I was so relieved to hear how common it really is.

 

[video_embed url=”https://youtu.be/ZWED1q1XF7A” embed_style=”default”]
Share this video with your friends and family! You may be surprised how few people really know about love.
If you’re a therapist/counselor, you can share the video with your clients and follow-up with them in your next session.

Posted on

What if I’m not ready to forgive?

It took me a while to find compassion and forgiveness in my heart. It was difficult because I jumped from one extreme, being too forgiving, to another extreme, being too self-righteous.

I had to learn about forgiveness and I thought that so many of us have a trouble knowing what IS and ISN’T forgiveness, that I made a short video about it to answer many of the common questions we face when it comes to forgiveness:

  • What if I’m not ready to forgive?
  • Does this mean reconciliation?
  • If I forgive, won’t the person just do it again? How can I make sure that doesn’t happen?
  • What if I just want them to know the pain I feel/felt?
  • How much time do I have to really forgive?

 

On the other hand:

  • I want to be forgiven, how can I show that I am sincerely sorry?

 

[video_embed url=”http://youtu.be/gNEPbhh9Ziw” embed_style=”default”]

 

Let this video jump start you in the right direction. If you love the video, share it with your friends. You would be helping others navigate something so difficult, yet so pervasive.

 

If you want to learn more about the step-by-step process of Forgiveness, FINEST-Self is open for enrollment!

Posted on

Is feminism bias to only women?

Dear Friends,
Emma Watson is taking He For She to the next level, IMPACT 10x10X10.

As a mother, I raise my son to be androgynous, to have a set of skills that are both instrumental and expressive, both masculine and feminine traits. Because the traditional gender roles do both men and women a disservice, depriving them both of affection and accomplishments, warmth and achievements, friendliness and assertiveness.

According to research, girls are accepted as tomboys more than boys as feminine. But the good news is that each new generation is more egalitarian. Emma is a wonderful model for the new generation.

What I find key, is that not one gender is more important than the other, we are both human. This isn’t a hate-men campaign, on the contrary, a campaign of unity.

My husband, being a compassionate man, sees himself as a feminist, and also as a vessel to encourage other men to become aware of their feelings, and help them feel comfortable in providing warmth, tenderness, affection and support to their partners.

A 2006 survey found that marriages with both spouses in traditional gender roles are generally less happy with their marriages than androgynous couples, even still as time goes by.

When we enter a romantic relationship, we all want warm and affectionate partners, but a person with high instrumental skills and low expressive skills, makes it difficult to have an intimate relationship.

And being low in instrumentality is like being low in assertiveness and personal strength.

This campaign, is not only for women, and that is what I love about it, it’s also for men. Where both genders benefit.

As Elizabeth Gilbert said beautifully, “It seems rude NOT to call yourself a feminist, given what feminism delivered to us.”

Cheers to He For She!