I recently asked my husband what stressed him on a regular basis when our marriage was in bad shape almost 10 years ago.
He said the regular arguments, not being able to get his point across, and not being able to find a solution.
Then I asked him, what did he avoid facing because it would trigger too much fear?
He said his own contribution.
It’s not easy to see how we’ve contributed to the problem.
It’s much easier when someone else, like a professional, or someone’s opinion we respect, points it out to us. We do not want to hear it from the person we’re hurting—obviously!
It helped our relationship to know EXACTLY:
-what can damage it
-what can nurture it
Just so you know, anger (not the outbursts) and arguments do not END a relationship.
This was a relief for me.
But there are few things to avoid to make arguing much more healthy, respectful and make you feel on the same team.
In this video I share the 5 methods of arguing you must avoid at all costs to really get somewhere (get your point across and find a solution).
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A CHALLENGE FOR YOU:
After you watch it, share it with your partner and talk about it. What do you think about it and do you agree?
Have a conversation about how you would like to improve the way you argue. Just focus on 1 specific thing.
More information:
- My full article at digital romance.
- The full interview about the 4 horsemen with Anderson Cooper is below.
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